Mike Pence so anti-sex its kind of sexy: Mallick

Mike Pence so anti-sex its kind of sexy: Mallick

Is U.S. Vice-President Mike Pence sexually uncontrollable, a servant of his loins? Or does his proximity render Republican women liquid with desire, unable to eat food, or even order it, in a sit-down situation with starter, main, beverage and dessert?There are many possible explanations for Pence’s refusal to dine alone with women other than his wife Karen, or to attend events without her where liquor is going to be served. He revealed this policy as a congressman in 2002, and the Washington Post reminded the world of it this week, burying the lede in a story about how the Pences have twin treadmills and a private landline for just the two of them. The antique phone is red. The man can’t be left alone with women other than Karen. He needs a chaperone. Did Karen demand it? Did he? Is it something we said? Few would describe Mike Pence as irresistible sex bait, mainly because he’s a guy who can only be imagined clothed. I mean, those never-nude suits for Indiana winters with the over-padded shoulders and the high-waisted pleated pants? Karen dresses him to repel, I understand that, but there’s really no need. But perhaps I am wrong. The guy is so anti-sex that it’s kind of sexy, which make him pro-sex. “The more you prohibit yourself from male-female friendships, the more sexually charged the world outside your marriage starts to seem,” wrote The Guardian’s wise Oliver Burkeman. Article Continued BelowPence is at sea. He may well think women are licking their lips suggestively rather than going after some errant cheese dressing. He might think their eyes are running over his body like a car. So a woman facing Pence over dinner wouldn’t have to lure him. She’d just say, “Let’s go to my room.” She’d have asked hotel housekeeping for special sheets in navy blue. For Mike Pence is the whitest man alive. Trump chose him for his hair, thinking it looked vice-presidential, but I think he looks like the Man from Glad, or a Q-tip. Is he a whited sepulchre, a pillar of salt? He’s not a tall drink of water like Eddie Redmayne, he’s a tall glass of male milk.

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