Spiritual
Significance of the
Father/Son Relationship
By
Allan Houston
This year
marks the fifth year of
the “Father Knows Best”
retreat, a program
designed with the intent
to
build a meaningful and
unique relationship
between man and son or
mentee. The attendees
participate in athletic
clinics, panel
discussions, and
activities that
encourage communication
and life-skills with an
emphasis on quality time
spent together. Side by
side, fathers and sons
(and mentors and mentees)
learn basketball drills,
engage in relationship
workshops, and perform
as a team.
Most importantly, this
program emphasizes the
spiritual significance
of the father/son
relationship.
The
relationship I share
with my father has
brought me to examine
this dynamic on many
levels. My father, Wade,
has been as example of a
godly man with high
integrity and wisdom. As
a coach, businessman,
pioneer, and leader, I
have not only heard him
share his heart with me,
but I have seen him live
by example. In playing
professional basketball
in the NBA for 12
seasons, I have seen and
heard of many of these
examples of fathers who
have impacted their sons
the same way.
Unfortunately, I have
taken note of
exceedingly more of the
other side, where
fathers are not present
or do not realize the
importance of the role
they play in their
children’s lives.
I believe
the spiritual
significance of the
father’s role is the
single most important
issue as we address this
issue. When a man lacks
his spiritual identity
as a child of God, he
cannot know who he was
created to be. Only our
Heavenly Father can show
us our true purpose,
because he knew it
before we were born
(Psalms 139:16). As a
man, it is extremely
difficult to usher our
children into their
destiny without knowing
God on an intimate
level. One of the most
powerful relationships
between a father and son
is illustrated in the
Bible through David and
Solomon. David was a
man after God’s heart,
who became one of the
greatest kings of
Israel. He was a
fearless warrior, an
intense worshipper, and
a gifted writer. Because
of David’s obedience to
God, he and his kingdom
prospered and enjoyed
blessings. Even through
David’s imperfections
and mistakes, he
genuinely cried out to
God for mercy and God
granted favor upon
David’s kingdom. This is
symbolic of the type of
blessings that God has
promised our modern day
kingdoms, which are our
homes, families, or
whatever is under our
care. David understood
his responsibility to
pass these blessings to
his son, who God
promised would inherit
his throne.
In 1
Kings 2:2-4, David is
near death. He ‘charged
Solomon his son, saying;
“I
go the way of all the
earth; be strong,
therefore, and prove
yourself a man. And keep
the charge of the Lord
your God: to walk in His
ways, to keep His
statutes, His
commandment, His
judgments, and His
testimonies, as it is
written in the law of
Moses, that you may
prosper in all that you
do and wherever you
turn…”
David
knew his impact on his
son. I believe there is
a quiet, intense desire
in every son to be like
their father. One of my
7 year old son’s most
prized possessions is a
toy shaving kit. He
often will come into my
bathroom with me, take
off his shirt, and
pretend to shave
standing right next to
me. We actually pass
down gifts we receive
from the Lord. My father
is not shy to let people
know where I received my
jumpshot from, and still
believes he can outshoot
me!
It is
critical to see in
scripture how God tells
fathers to make sure we
are actively seeking
God’s Word and teaching
it to our children. In
Deuteronomy 6:6-7, God
is telling us, “And
these words which I
command you today shall
be in your heart. You
shall teach them
diligently to our
children.” As a coach,
my father taught me the
fundamentals of the game
of basketball. He knew
that I would have an
advantage against my
opponents and in helping
my team because I knew
what to expect when I
hit the court. The same
has to apply when
teaching our sons the
fundamentals of life so
that they can be
equipped when they are
dealing with situations
in life they will
encounter. These
fundamentals come from
God’s Word.
David had
such an intense
relationship with God
that God promised him;
‘If your sons take heed
to their way, to walk
before me in truth with
their heart and with all
their soul,’ He said,
‘you shall not lack a
man on the throne of
Israel”. David
understood that if he
taught Solomon to have
the same reverence for
the Lord that all his
generations would share
the same blessings. My
dad not only showed me
how to shoot a jumpshot,
but he taught me how to
respect others, how to
be accountable for my
actions, how to be
honest so I can be
trusted. I learned from
him that making money is
not as important as how
you treat people making
it. He has passed these
qualities to me. I
intend to teach my son
the same fundamentals
and hope that he even
takes them and does the
same. We all want better
for our children and
grandchildren than we
had. Our ancestors and
parents wanted the same
for us. There is a
promise from our
Heavenly Father that we
can have this if we
stick to the script! No
one is perfect, nor will
there ever be another
perfect man, but we can
serve a perfect God.
